Roto Imbeciles
Fantasy Baseball for the Roto Enthusiast
Friday, October 10 2014:
My fantasy week has started with me replacing the Carolina defense with the Ravens D. I like their matchup at TB for no other reason. I also replaced the very ineffective Toby Gerhart with Anquan Boldin for my flex spot. Gerhart has been as useless as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest and has seen his PT drop each week. At this rate, Gerhart will be answering the phones in the adm
inistrative offices at Stanford University, where he played his college football and ran the 40 yd dash in 4.53 seconds. I currently drive my car in about that time. I'm presently 2-3 in my league and a W this week will put me squarely in the middle of the pack. I'm also considering replacing my TE, Jordan Cameron, with my bench TE Owen Daniels but I will do the requisite soul-searching before making any changes.

Try to remember the times of September and follow! Boy, this month and the baseball season for that matter sure went by in an eye blink. I finished one place out of the money in all 3 of my leagues, two of them by 2.5 points and the other by 3. But it did make for kind of an exciting last 2 weeks of the season for me. Stork. If a professional team gave you 30 carries I have a feeling you would be in the negative yards. Just commenting on your thoughts that you would have out-gained LeSean McCoy given the same 30 totes. And, if truth be told, you probably don't survive those 30 carries. Which brings up an interesting question: when was the last time we saw a great Jewish RB? Coming into Sunday Night Football I was down 55 points. But Brees got me 25.2 and Khiry Robinson netted me 10.5. My opponent got 5.5 from Pierre Thomas and Brandin Cooks so I'm down around 15 with Julian Edelman going tonight. Unfortunately, my esteemed opponent has Dwayne Bowe going for KC. Hey, at least I made it respectable. His QB, Andrew Luck scored 38.6. Luck was a guy I recommended before the season started if you didn't get the "top 3" of Peyton, Brees, or Rodgers. I'm looking like I'll be 1-3 at this time tomorrow and face a must win in week 5. By the by, I started Doug Martin and Keenan Allen who outscored the guys I benched (Gerhart and Wright) 25.1 to 11.5. So I guess there was a silver lining.

My good friend Tom Lynaugh makes a lot of good points in his speech on the Adrian Peterson thread. You would think from this that Tom made a lot more of his life than he did. I sometimes wonder if it all stems from the fact that Tom was usually the last guy picked for pick-up basketball games, left out there with the Jewish kids, or sometimes not picked at all! The difference there is that the Jewish guys became successful in life. Adrian Peterson certainly made something of his own life and was probably the first or second guy picked for any sporting event. The Vikings saw fit to give AP the weekend off which was fine by me. I came from that background of the daily beatings with the big spoon or the spatula. My brothers and I would put baseball cards in our back pockets to absorb some of the pain and suffering. But as I get older I realize that a good paddling on your bare bottom (if administered by the right girl) would probably be some weird form of foreplay. And I guess we just accept the reason for being a beater is that you were beaten as a kid. I'm not 100% sure that I buy that but at least it gives some understanding to the mentality behind it all. Yes Tom, we root, root, root for our fantasy players and, as you found out this past weekend, it can really shake things up when putting in your starting lineup.



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